I’m pretty sure I died once or twice during my Graduate thesis work too.
(Side text- A solemn fight!!)
(Banner- The princess’s friend, Kagura-chan’s funeral service.)
(Side text- The newest JC volume #51 hits stores September 4th!!)
GINTAMA
Lesson 459: A farewell greeting should be concise.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.
???: Everyone…
Thank you for coming here today.
That so many people could be here for her in her final moments..
Would certainly bring this child joy.
As you can tell from the smile in her portrait…
She was a young lady who abhorred anything gloomy.
002
Otose: So I hope that everyone here today..
Will send her off with their best smiles.
Certainly that would be…
The number one way of resisting that sadness.
Everyone please come up one by one and offer a flower before her casket…
As a final farewell greeting to this poor child.
Okita: Then..
I’ll go.
Shinpachi: Okita-san…
Kondo: Sougo.
Okita: She’s got that expression…
The same one that I’d always pick a fight with whenever we met…
003
Okita: You know people…when they lose a good friend….
Or even a hated adversary that they had no good words toward…
It really doesn’t change that they’re lost.
(Sfx- Kukukuh *heheheh*)
{Y-Yo—yooou}
{Baaaastaaaaaard!!}
Okita: So how is it…
Is your casket comfortable?
I figured you’d want to bathe in sunlight before you go off to the netherworld…
So I had them make a special casket that doubles as a tanning bed.
{It’s so hooooot!! My body’s going to fryyyyy!!}
{Y—You bastaaaard! What are you trying to do?!}
{Let me oooout! I want to be let ooooooout!!}
004
Okita: Heh its’ all good. I know you can’t say anything but your gratitude is all too clear.
{Who is he talking to?}
Okita: You wanted to test boss’s affection towards you so you went and faked this whole thing.
So ain’t this awesome? Cause faking a sickness is one thing…
But death is sure to bring out people’s true feelings real quick.
Oh but no need to worry, you just need to not move or talk for about half a day and keep playing dead.
Your viewing should be about that long so be grateful.
If the boss and gang really care about you they should notice before long right?
Hopefully before your cute little casket turns into a teapot that boils you alive.
Well this is all about reaping what you sow.
If you wanna hate someone start with a mirror. You’ll see an idiot who tried to get affection by faking a sickness there.
{You waaaaaaaait!}
{I said you waaaaaaaait! You rotten bastaaaaaaard!!}
005
{The worst thing is that the one person I didn’t want to notice is the one who did!!}
(Sfx- Kusu *sniffle*)
{He is trying to use my fake sickness as a means to erase me, yes?!}
{It is so hoooot! It hurts!!}
{If this keeps up I really will ascend to heaven!! I must do something!}
{I cannot move my body, and I cannot speak.}
{But with this many people here bidding farewell there has to be one who will notice me for sure!}
{They will notice the color returning to my face upon close inspection and realize….}
(Sfx- Gonyo gonyo *whisper whisper*)
Soyo: Um…everyone, It appears the tanning bed style casket is beginning to have an effect on the corpse that’s ever so hard to look at….so we no longer have time for farewells.
However in order to ensure that everyone will have a chance to say their last respects we have optimized things by adding a conveyor belt that the casket will ride down on.
You may say your farewells as it passes you.
{WHAT KIND OF FAREWELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?!}
(Sfx- Kagoon *kaclunk*)
(Sfx Yoisho yoisho *heave-ho heave-ho.*)
006
{Soyo-chaaaaan!! That monster is fooling yooooou!!!}
Soyo: The conveyor belt will move her body forward until it reaches a crematorium establishment.
Everyone may continue to say their farewells until the casket reaches there where the automatic functions will turn her into bones and ash and she will be well on her way to heaven.
{Is this supposed to be a factory?!}
Soyo: Be sure that you do not interrupt the line with long farewells, as we must keep things moving. A farewell from the heart that is brief is best.
{Heeeey!! This funeral is really impersonal is it noooot?!}
Otose: Kagura. To think that you’d pass before me…
You really are lacking in care for your parent….
(Sfx- Viiiiin *veeeeeen*)
Otose: After all, I really did think of you as a daughter…
(Sfx- Viiiiin *Veeeeen*)
{She is still in the middle of saying something niiiiiceee!}
Catherine: Otose-san, your farewell is too long! You have to make it more compact than that or else…
Ahhh! Wait a second!!
(Sfx- Viiiiin *Veeeeen*)
{Heeeey! This is moving a little too fast!!}
Tama: Otose-sama, Catherine-sama, you mustn’t forget to place your flowers in the casket.
Here give those to me, quickly!!
(Sfx- Gahh *Graaab*)
(Sfx- Viiiin *veeeen*)
007
Tama: Ka—Kagura-sama!!
Please rest in peace!
(Sfx- Dathhh *dasssh*)
(Sfx- Gahhh *trip*)
(Sfx- Dodosuh *thuuud*)
{AAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!}
{Where are you trying to stab me?! I cannot sleep this way, yes?!}
Tama: O—Oh no! I was in too much of a hurry…
Kyuubee-sama! Please you have to fix the decorative flowers in the casket…!!
Kyuubee: Eh?! Wha—ehh?!
Ka—Kagura-chan!! Thank you for everything until now!!
(Sfx- Dodohhh *thuuuup*)
{What does my nose have to do with flower decoratiiiiing!?}
Tsukuyo: That ain’t right Kyuubee! It’s flowers not noses! I’ll get ‘em out!!
(TN- Hana is flower and nose in Japanese.)
{What the heck are you dooooing!?}
(Sfx- Meki meki *Grind grind*)
Tsukuyo: Ka—Kagura thanks for lookin’ after us for so long…
008
(Sfx- Goshaaaaah *craaaaash*)
Tsukuyo: Goodbye!!
{Um it is more like ‘Hello’ now.}
(Sfx- Para para *Clatter clatter*)
{I do not believe anyone asked for the casket to be broken, yes?}
Sacchan: Heeeeey!! What kind freakishly stupid strength did you use on those flowers Tsukky?! Look at Kagura-chan!!
Tsukuyo: I mighta gone a smidgen overboard yeah? D’ya think you can handle things after this Sarutobi?
Sacchan: Does someone who’s trying to avoid responsibility have the right to ask me that?!
Push or shove she’s not going down!!
(Sfx- Gahh *crack*)
(Sfx- Guuhh *sfft*)
Sacchan: What do I do? What should I do?!
Kagura-chan, I’ll be sure to bring Gin-san happiness so you’ll have nothing to worry about when you go back to the other world!!
(Sfx- Meki meki *grind grind*)
{This huuuuuuuurts!}
Kondo: Hey um…Toshi….what the hell are we looking at?
{Help meeeeeeeeeee Tosshiiiiii!!! I do not care who it is, just please save meeeee!}
(Sfx-Viiiin *Veeeen*)
009
(Sfx- Gagooohh *dddrragggh*)
Hijikata: I’m really wondering what religion that girl happens to be a part of. I’ve never seen a funeral like this.
Kondo: Awwright! At a time like this, it doesn’t matter if we’re on the same side or not! No matter the religion we have a duty to give it a courteous hand!
{Nooooooooo!! This sort of religion doesn’t exist!!}
{I am going to dieeee! If they place that on here I will seriously dieeeee!!}
(Sfx- Yoro yoro *wobble wobble*)
{Someone please crank up the speed on the conveyor belt!!}
Kondo: We’re not gonna catch up with it!
Toshiiiii!! Put your back into it! We ain’t going to give up!!
{No, please! You do not need to do your best!}
Hijikata: Shit, at a time like this we can’t even help one brat pass on with a proper funeral.
Kondo: Those sound like giving up words!! We’re gonna do this damn you! Mark my words we’re going to nail that coffin shut with this rock!
{I am not even sure if they’re good people or bad people anymore!!}
Tae: What are you two doing?!
{Bos ladyyyyyyyyyyy!!}
Tae: What in the world were you two going to do carrying that thing?!
{Oh thank goodness! Boss lady has come to save me!! Please stop those fools!!}
010
Tae: Why can’t I add my voice to yours?
(Sfx- Gaah *graaab*)
{THAT IS THE PROBLEEEEEEEEM?!}
Kondo: Otae-san!!
Tae: Thank you so much, Kondo-san, Hijikata-san.
You’re both working so hard for Kagura-chan’s sake, so why don’t we all put our hands together and help?
{Heeeeeyy!! Normally everyone has such a bad relationship with each other, and NOW you all are great friends who work together?!}
{Run away conveyor belt! Run away at top speed, yes?!}
(Sfx- Gurari *wiffle*)
(Sfx- DOfuhhh *thuuud*)
???: Oh crap, it’s a slope!! The rock’s getting away!!
(Sfx- Gororororo *spiiiiinnnnn*)
011
(Sfx- Gororororo *roooooollll*)
{It’s over! That rock has fallen through their fingers!}
Katsura: UROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHH!!!
(Sfx- Gagoooohhh *toooooom*)
(Sfx- Zuzazazaaaah *ssssssshhhhhh*)
(Sfx- Ggogogogogogo *rmmmmmble*)
Katsura: Do you see the other side of the rock?
(Sfx- Para para *Clatter clatter*)
Katsura: The baton….
Has been passed firmly.
Hijikata: I ain’t seeing the shadows of the rock but…
I leave the rest to you.
012
{Eeeeeeh?! The amount of cooperation that is occurring here is beyond common sense, yes?!}
Katsura: Just you wait leader!!
{Enemies are actually forgetting about their advantages and actually forming a team to erase meeeee!!}
(Handwritten- Good luuuuck!!)
(Handwritten- Don’t back down!)
{Who are you people cheering for?!}
(Below panel- Licensed by JASRAC.)
(Handwritten- The Sakura blow through to the cold skies…)
{For who’s sake are you singing Sarai?!}
{For who are you having this ceremonyyyy?!}
(Sfx- Gahhh *grab*)
Hasegawa: Do it now everyooooone!!
I’m neutralizing the belt conveyor’s movement!!
You have to nail me shut with the coffin!!
{To what extent do you people want me to have this funeral?!}
Katsura: HERE WE GO EVERYOOOOONEEE!!
GOOD BYE…
LEADER!!
013
{Aah…}
{How did this happen?}
{That this became my actual funeral…}
{Because of a petty fight I faked a sickness…}
{Is this a punishment for testing everyone’s feelings?}
{Even without doing anything…}
{I understand that much..}
{Although every single one of them seems hell bent on erasing me..}
{They’re gathered here for my sake….}
{They’re all…}
{Genuinely concerned about me.}
{They all…}
{Cried real tears for me.}
{Yet… I…. I…}
{If I had only said….}
{The right thing sooner…}
014
(Sfx- Gogogogogo *rmmmmble*)
Shinpachi: I’m sorry everyone…
We’re overjoyed that you are all here to say your farewells to Kagura-chanat her funeral…
But we haven’t…
Been able to say good bye to Kagura-chan yet.
Before we even say that though…
We have to address some things we said to her that we shouldn’t have.
015
(Sfx- Basaaahh *sffft*)
Gintoki: We forgot…
To return your umbrella.
It’s merely a souvenir at this point but…
But it comes before the sun becomes rain and before we start raining rocks on her.
If you’re really heading to that place then this is essential.
Kagura…
Both: I’m sorry okay?//yes?
Kagura: Not good. I spoke, yes?
016
(Sfx- Gogohhh *thok*)
Kagura: Umph!
Tae: Um…just now…
Kagura didn’t just speak did she?
Gintoki: Er…
OF course not! What are you saying?!
Shinpachi: Do you think we’d really allow all this money to go into the ceremony just for her to actually be alive? No way!!
She’s like one hundred percent dead!! Totally!
(Sfx- Gan *thunk*)
(Sfx- Gan *thunk*)
Shinpachi: Now where did we leave off? Oh right! We have to finish this ceremony and go through with the cremation?
Someone: I’m pretty sure she said something like ‘sorry’.
Shinpachi: No way! She totally didn’t!
Okita(?): Maybe something along the lines of ‘Cause of the fight I faked sickness?’
Gintoki: OF COURSE SHE DIDN’T SAY THAT!!
Kagura: Cough, cough.
Uh-oh.
017
(Sfx- Gabaaahh *Bloooorsh*)
Gintoki: Uh—oh, my body just gave out on me…
(Sfx- Gakuhh *crackle*)
Shinpachi: S—sorry…I suddenly don’t feel so good…maybe we should do this ceremony another day…
Tae: No need to worry…
If you’re just faking after all.
Cause there’s no saving you.
(Sfx- Viiiiin *Veeeeeen*)
Someone: Now where did we leave off? Oh right!
It’s your funeral!
(Sfx- Gashaaaaaaaaaan *claaaaaaaaack*)
(Sfx- AAAAAAAAAUGHHHH!)
Soyo: Thank goodness~
(Sfx- Miiin *Reee*)
Okita: Totally.
(Side text- A full recovery!)
GINTAMA LESSON 459……….END.